She leaned back smiling,
‘Why the smile?’ he asked.
‘Because it is what it is.
Not a love of wanting and passion
But one that is born of familiarity and respect.
Not one that has left my heart racing-
But one that I know will always be.
Your love has always been like the seasons
Each spell bringing its own characteristics.
There has never been a constant
Nothing that I could be sure of.
One minute you would be infatuated with me, the next…
Well I would be surprised if you remembered my name.
Although something inside would always nag at me and would say that the love was still there.
But it was and is sometimes hard to see it.
Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for you and your presence.
The presence of this familiarity.
Yeah, I know what you are thinking…..
There she goes again, dictating how to love, dictating what love is, dictating, dictating…
You know I have never been a tyrant, or that person in charge
So it is funny how you would call it dictating.
I call it sharing with the man I love.
Sharing my thoughts and opinions.
Or maybe they should be kept inside.
A woman should be seen and not heard.
That’s what your daddy told you right?
Yeah, that makes me smile-
As you loved me for having my own mind before,
But that was before I became your wife.
I really do love you
And I have loved being with you over all of these years,
But you know what I wish….
I honestly wish that through the ups and the downs you had just kept on loving me despite it all….
Despite the fact that the kids where bothering you
Despite the fact that money was tight and things were rough
Despite the fact that there was a lack of alcohol in your system
Despite the fact that I did not like your new female ‘friend’
Despite the fact that you were just pissed off at the world and all that it encompassed
Despite all of that.
Because when I was sick I loved you,
When I was mad at you I loved you,
When I was alone, home with the kids and no adult conversation for days I loved you,
When we were broke I loved you,
When you told her you loved her and I overheard I still loved you,
Despite all of that I loved you’.
She reached for her walking stick.
‘But as I said’ she looked at him, ‘it is what it is’.
‘What the hell are you talking about?’ He asked.
She smiled again and raised her aged body up from the chair.
On seeing the pain in her face he got up and stretched out an arm towards her,
‘You need some help?’ He asked.
‘No’ she said, ‘But thanks for showing love’.